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AN ASSORTMENT OF TRUTHS AND TALES compiles over twenty writings by award-winning author, Laura G. Cogdill. Follow a path through flash fiction, memoir, poetry, and inspirational words sprinkled with humor, hope, romance, and time travel. 

You may even uncover a few secrets about me!

AN ASSORTMENT is available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Assortment-Truths-Tales-Laura-Cogdill-ebook/dp/B0CCX1J2JV/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1BQKH9GUA9YJQ&keywords=laura+g+cogdill&qid=1691956744&sprefix=laura+g+%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-1

More Stickies from John

I am still finding sticky notes left by John for me. Recently, I culled through more of his books, careful to check for messages by flipping the pages slowly. 

One day, John asked me the number you call when you need help. 

(He couldn't remember 911.) 

I wrote it on this card for him and he kept it by his chair.

Found it tucked in a book also.

more updates

July 29th, 2014 I found another sticky note John left for me.  It was stuck to the back cover of a music book on the shelf.  The book was yellow like the note, and I had flipped through the pages, stacked it with other books, put it in a box, then turned it over to make it stack better, and BAM, there was the note.

Not sure exactly what it says, but it doesn't matter.  It's been right at 2 years since I found one, and truly thought there probably weren't any more.  It was a happy day!

It's a book!

They're here!  100 copies of "Liquidating Life", the book I put together from this blog and emails by John and me over the time of his illness.  In another entry, I'll tell some of the trek into publishing.  The book is available on amazon.com and also on kindle.

in his own words.....and spelling

While going through John's facebook messages, I found this reply to a friend.  It so beautifully sums up his frame of mind when he found out he had a brain tumor.  I'll leave the spelling as he typed it because it shows the effects of the two seizures he had about a month before.  It was dated Oct. 28, 2009.  


If I was independently wealth I could just live out the last 4 years relaxed until I died. However, I am not capable. The doctors have been real honest and I really appreciate it. They told me the tumor was what they expected and at the most optimistically I have is 3-4 years if the tumor response. The slim possibility is past 5 years. I really am glad to have time to plan so I am getting things ready now so those close to me want have so much to do.

It could be a lot worst. There are kids up there who have not really expected high school. I have already done all that. The greatest thing about my situation dieing is my world view. I have taken the last 7 years and examined what I have been taught and found it to be true. Christianity is the only philosophy which makes more since compared against all the other positions. I am following a logical and rational position which Jesus the man/God taught was rational. If this would have happened to me 10 years ago I would have been on my knees crying to go to heal me thinking I could convince Him to do it. Now I am content. With the teaching past down by the inspiration through the Apostles (12) that allows me to be content I will not die. My person will never stop existing. When I leave temporarily my physical body I am promised to return not only to my body but with the Christ in His second advent.

It has been a great last 50 years because I fond God is knowable and He revealed Himself rational.

thriving thursday

tears, tears, and more tears
Selling the business finally hit John last night and he cried for a long time after we went to bed.  Once he finished, we both slept well.  He got up before me this morning [duh] and made coffee.  I could hear him sniffling.  He told me he had already had cereal, so I made myself a couple of fried eggs and sat at the table with him.  It was obvious he had been crying for a while. 
He admitted selling the business was getting him down, along with other regrets; not saving more money, not doing more to tell people about Jesus; etc.  It took another hour or so of talking and crying before he could stop.  But when the tears ended, John was himself.  He worked through it remarkably well.  I told him again how proud I am that he started a business and had it 20 years and worked it until he absolutely couldn't. 
We went outside to look at his equipment and what we were keeping and what was to be sold.  It probably helped to see everything, touch it, tell what pieces go with what.  I was surprised at how much I actually knew about the equipment.

Fun, fun, fun!  The Hospice music therapist came today.  She plays guitar and sings.  She played "Country Roads" by John Denver.  John recognized it.  She also did "One Day At A Time" which should be my theme song, except it's been so overdone I almost can't enjoy it.  I'm jealous because she has the "AFI Top 100 Songs" and it was amazing!  [I choked up when I saw "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge.]  Anyway....we ended up with me at piano and she on guitar, mostly instruments only.  Occasionally I'd sing.  Piano/guitar is an excellent blend.  John loved it.  She sightread over my shoulder from my repertoire of choruses.  At the end we did a horrible rendition of "Singing In the Rain."  When we finished, she asked him if he recognized it and he said, "No."  We busted out laughing because it's his favorite show tune from childhood.  "That bad, huh?" I asked. 
She'll come again in 2 weeks.

Then came the time to sell the business.  The buyer had everything in order; 3 copies of all the documents.  John had to sign his name a bunch of times, and he did pretty well.  Grabbed one of the neighbors to witness the signatures.  We had a long visit with the family who bought the business once the papers were signed.  Their daughter, and the mom, loved all my nesting dolls, so I gave them one I brought from Kyiv. 
Lots of people have asked me how I'm doing.  I say OK because I'm so busy in the middle of it all.  I'll fall apart later, I'm sure.  Don't have time now.

Emailed Pastor Bob's secretary and he wants to come over next week.  I asked if he'd do the memorial service and could we have it at Wildwood.  The secretary sent info on what the bereavement committee helps with, facilities, and program printing.  That's what I love about that church.  It's organized but with heart. 

Made an appointment for someone to look under the house and make sure we're not slipping away.  funkiness goin' on

It's been a stress-relieving day. 

snowy sunday, mellow monday

Christmas was great fun as always at my parents'.  Sharon, Bobby, and Marshall beat us out there because John wanted to be clean and not gross to everyone.  We washed his hair, bathed, shaved, packed.  Got a thoughtful call from one of our high school classmates checking on us.  Marshall called while we were loading the car to see where we were.  When we got there, we let him go ahead and open his presents so we could eat in peace.  The adults opened theirs after lunch.  Only John and I spent the night.

In the night, John woke up with a headache.  He went into the next room and sat in a chair for a while.  Being the tough dude he is, he wouldn't take any pain meds.  It got so bad, he finally broke down and took 1/4 of a pain pill.  Half an hour later he took another quarter pill.  Nothing was helping.  After a while, 1/2 a tablet, accompanied by vomiting.  Morning came, along with snow.  The flakes were large and swirled in the wind.  Mama and I went out for something and Fluffy had snowflakes on her fur.  It snowed for over an hour.  During that time, I had called hospice and the nurse was on her way.  She ended up in Georgia because GPS sends you there on an incorrect route through the woods on a imaginary road to my parents' neighborhood.  When she finally found us, with Mama meeting her at the main road, John had fallen asleep thankfully.  While the nurse was there, we changed his bandage.  The tumor had grown and the bulge was touching the back of his ear.  This was new.  There was tons of yellow drainage.  I've noticed that when he has headaches, the next time we change his bandage, there's more yellow than usual. 
The nurse thinks it's puss and not brain fluid.  The stitch bled more than usual also, and made a mess.  She taught me how to give him liquid morphine and what pills to give him for nausea.  He took one and it helped for a while.  He didn't want morphine and chose to keep taking the pain med Dr. Chemo had given us.  I think John has a mental block against the 'comfort kit' of meds because those are for 'end of life' and he knows he's not there yet.  He wants to be, but every nurse that sees him says he's 'not there.' 
Daddy went to our house and plugged in the heater in the van so the tubes wouldn't freeze, and dripped faucets inside the house because it was cold and getting colder.  John wanted deperately to go home.  I figured out the reason was because we knew it was going to be in the 20's at night and the heater needed to be turned on.  When I told him Daddy had already plugged it in, John said, "I guess we can stay another night then." 
He slept better, got up at 3:30 to eat cereal and take more pain meds.  Got up around 9 this a.m.  Ate, laid back down, then got up and started getting dressed.  He was READY to get home.  We had a quiet day, back to 'normal.'
Our main Hospice nurse came.  John hasn't lost weight, had his usual sense of humor, and when we changed the bandage, the tumor didn't look as large.  Now 2 stitches are bleeding.  She gave me a 'spill' kit in case the tumor ruptures, but not using those exact words.  Don't know if having the kit gives me comfort or fear. 
Tonight, our preacher and Sunday School teacher came by for over an hour.  It was a great visit.  Very real.  John again told them all that matters is knowing Christ and what he did, and trusting him because we have nothing to offer God to redeem ourselves.  He is still eloquent when it comes to God.  very inspiring

Got a call from my dr's nurse and the osteo has spread in my body.  They want me to go to my endocrinologist [thyroid dr] because my thyroid issue is probably feeding the osteo problem.  I already have an appt to see her this summer.  In the mean time....I HAVE to start exercising again.  My hip always feels better when I'm moving regularly.  AND, the biggie..........drink less coffee.  Eat more dairy foods and dark greens.  I know what to do.  Just do it!!!!!