First Entry Jitters

Yesterday I bought a digital camera for the first time.  Today I'm blogging for the first time.  Guess I'm finally entering the 21st century. 
It's also been a very long time since I put thoughts into written words on a regular basis. 
My goal is for my entries to not be just about dealing with John's illness, but other aspects of life, too. 

We started dating almost 8 years ago.  August 31, 2009, John had his first seizure, caused, as we found out later, by a brain tumor.  It's glio-blastoma, or "the kind Ted Kennedy had."  The average life-span once it's diagnosed is 18 months.  We're 15 months from the original seizure, but I choose to think of it as a great year.  In February, 2010, they removed the second growth of the tumor, then in March, two incision revisions.  May brought another trip to the hospital because of air leaking into his brain from the incision.  Those stitches are still in his head.

In April, John proposed marriage.  We were married in May and June, and in September, we celebrated our honeymoon by visiting Cumberland Island, GA. 

This is part of an email I sent out Oct. 16th:

I went with John (Dennis) to see the brain surgeon yesterday.  The purpose was
to find out when he could have the incision redone by the plastic surgeon.

When Dr.  looked at the site and found out it rarely leaks, he said we should leave well-enough alone and not fix it. 

I mentioned that in the last 2-3 weeks, there has been a decline in his speech and
ability to process what's said; could this be tumor related or effects from surgery, and
Dr. said it could be either one.  I am very anxious to have an MRI done. 

John and I have talked more about him not having the corrective surgery and he's not
happy with Dr.'s decision.  After the MRI, we're to go back for the results, and at that time, John will tell the Dr. his feelings about not having the surgery.  He can't get that side of his head wet, and hasn't been able to since May.  He has to wear a bandage whenever he goes anywhere, and he's just tired of it.

We are waiting for an MRI appointment.  Chemo week is a little tougher
each time, but Dr. Chemo doesn't want to back off the high dose. 
John's attitude is good, and if you've talked to him, his sense of humor is still intact.  Not to say there aren't down days, but overall, he's a trooper!

Chemo in November went very well.  The MRI found the tumor had returned.  When John pressed the Dr., he gave him 6 months.  This started the conversations about cremation, Hospice, funerals, and everything else you can imagine.  It seems to help John to talk and plan.  Some days it drives me nuts.  Isn't there more to life than liquidation of everything you've lived?  If John wants to go to Burger King, we're going.  If he wants me to keep my hair long, that haircut can wait.  It's pretty much whatever he wants. 

In other postings I'll relay some from the conversations we've had and decisions we've reached.

Hmmmm...........this wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.