More Stickies from John

I am still finding sticky notes left by John for me. Recently, I culled through more of his books, careful to check for messages by flipping the pages slowly. 

One day, John asked me the number you call when you need help. 

(He couldn't remember 911.) 

I wrote it on this card for him and he kept it by his chair.

Found it tucked in a book also.

On Love, Language, and Loss

Liquidating Life was featured in a magazine article which asked the question, "How do we know what other people think, except through language?  How do we know them, if they cannot express what they think or feel?  Such are the predicaments that these writers address, as they explore how brain injury can affect a relationship, a life."

Four books were compared:  One Hundred Names for Love: A Memoir; To Love What Is:  A Marriage Transformed; Liquidating Life; Still Alice.

The author of the article, Joyce Meier, addresses results of a stroke, injuries sustained in a fall, a brain tumor, and Alzheimer's, and the affects on how communication changes and the frustrations and breakthroughs that come with it.

She also used her skills as a writing professor to critique the actual writing of the books, covering the styles of each author and how their word choices reflect their experiences.

It was an honor to be included in this group of authors who dared to show their walk through many tough days with their loved one.

"Fourth Genre:  Exploration in Nonfiction"
Volume 17, Number 2, Fall 2015;  pp. 189-196
Michigan State University Press

Liquidating Life: An Almost Daily Account of a Journey With Brain Cancer is available at amazon.com.

birthdays and anniversaries

To celebrate John's birthday each year, I usually get a cake pop from Starbucks.  This year, I was in Orlando visiting my sister and her family in February.  To commemorate his birthday, Sharon and I got a Mickey cake pop at Disney!  

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I have also started the tradition of getting a wind chime to mark the anniversary of John's passing.  Since I spent the weekend at Disney this February, I wanted one Disney-related.  Since I couldn't find one that hit me just right, I ordered the chime in the picture below.  It is "Cinderella blue," and has a butterfly (which played an important role in the live-action Cinderella movie).  

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....and of course, here is a picture of Cinderella and me!

John would have gotten a kick out of me meeting her.

Relay for Life

The school where I teach held its first Relay for Life to raise money for the American Cancer Society in May, 2016.

This is my luminary in memory of John and my friend Vickie.

Taylor County (FL) Friends of the Library

July 27, 2015
The Taylor County Friends of the Library were a gracious audience for my talk about "Liquidating Life", Voices Against Brain Cancer, and the publishing process.

summer of discovery

Doing more painting and while taking figurines off a shelf, found another sticky note from John folded and hidden there.  He must have written it early on because it has my name and the message made sense.

John Strikes Again

Summer brings the major projects I've put off until I have the time, such as painting and moving furniture to clean.  Today I painted the hall which meant I had to take the pictures off the wall.  When I went to rehang the largest one, on the back I found another sticky note from John, as well as a photo.  He went through a phase of scanning leaves from the yard and making photographs of them.  (One particularly excellent one is enlarged and hanging in the living room.)  Just when months or a year passes and I'm not expecting to find another note from him, one appears.

..........and again today, June 17, 2015, while prepping to paint the bathroom, I took the picture off the wall, and stuck to the price tag still hanging on the back was this sticky from John:

which begs the question, how long HAS it been since I've deep cleaned???

John's 53rd birthday  (02/18/15)

4th anniversary of his passing (02/19/15)

annual birthday cake pop

chocolate caramel sea salt

I am going to start a tradition of getting a wind chime to mark the anniversary of John's passing.  This is the wind chime I got this year.

My first assignment as the 

local ambassador 

for 

Voices Against Brain Cancer 

was this interview on WCTV (11/10/14):

http://www.wctv.tv/video?videoid=2973788

FREE ON KINDLE

Sept. 27-28, 2014
Liquidating Life is FREE on kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Liquidating-Life-Laura-G-Cogdill-ebook/dp/B00D0CJMJA/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_1

silver medal winner

Liquidating Life was awarded a silver medal in the Health & Fitness category by the Florida Authors & Publishers Association, at their fall conference August 9, 2014.

It is a wonderful honor to be selected and acknowledged in this way.  

This is a picture of the display at the conference.

 

                                                                                     

more updates

July 29th, 2014 I found another sticky note John left for me.  It was stuck to the back cover of a music book on the shelf.  The book was yellow like the note, and I had flipped through the pages, stacked it with other books, put it in a box, then turned it over to make it stack better, and BAM, there was the note.

Not sure exactly what it says, but it doesn't matter.  It's been right at 2 years since I found one, and truly thought there probably weren't any more.  It was a happy day!

Character Blog Hop

 I was invited by Susan Womble (www.susanwomble.com) to participate in the Character Blog Hop. Here are my answers to the questions about a character in my story. I will also post them on my facebook page, .
https://www.facebook.com/LiquidatingLife?fref=ts

1.  What is the name of your character?  
John Dennis Cogdill, and yes, he was a character.
2.  When and where is the story set? Tallahassee and Havana; 2009-2012.
3.  What should we know about him?   
John Dennis was a gracious, big-hearted person.
4.  What is the main conflict?   
A diagnosis of brain cancer changed John Dennis' world in 2009.
5.  What is the personal goal of the character?   
John Dennis' main goal was to get the gospel message to as many as he could in the time he had left.
6.  What is the title of this book?   "Liquidating Life"

book availability

In addition to amazon.com and kindle, 

Liquidating Life is available at these locations

in Tallahassee, FL:

Downtown Marketplace
http://www.downtownmarket.com/
Park Avenue & US 27 (Monroe Street)
September through November


The Gathering Place
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Gathering-Place-Tallahassee/513423962047599
3655 N. Monroe Street

My Favorite Books

http://www.mfbooks.us/mfb/

in Market Square

Sweet Patina

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sweet-Patina/141681815885686

2030-5 Thomasville Road

book signing

Barnes & Noble Tallahassee

 local author book signing event

July 12, 2013

with my mother and "roadie"

Jonnie

Book Launch Party

The book launch party for "Liquidating Life" was held Friday, June 7, 2013 at Dorothy B. Oven Park in Tallahassee.  This is a picture of the main room.

 

In May, I ordered 100 books to sell and give away.  I have only about a dozen left and re-ordered more yesterday.  A few weeks ago, I spoke to a writing group about the publishing process with createspace.  A retirement facility is hosting a local author round-table event later in June and I've signed up to participate.  

"Liquidating Life" is on kindle now, but the pictures didn't transfer.  It is what it is and I've sold a half dozen.

  

Many people have emailed me their "John memories" and it has been great reading them.  The book launch got people thinking about him and I appreciate their memories.  

There are 5 reader reviews on amazon.  The book's ranking fluctuates from 55,000 to 800,000 depending on how much traffic/sales/comments/activity is on the amazon page.  

This is the link to the book review in the Tallahassee Democrat:

http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2013305300059

It's a book!

They're here!  100 copies of "Liquidating Life", the book I put together from this blog and emails by John and me over the time of his illness.  In another entry, I'll tell some of the trek into publishing.  The book is available on amazon.com and also on kindle.

September 14, 2011 COM memorial service

The second week in September, my friend, Curt, who teaches at the FSU College of Medicine, invited me to the cadaver memorial service at the school auditorium.  "Does this mean John is up to bat this semester?" I asked.  There was a peaceful pause on the other end.  Curt told me they worked on John over the summer.  They needed one more body at FSU and he was next up specifically for that school.  John made it to college barely under the wire.  How like him.  "I would be honored to attend," I said.


If there were any lingering doubts as to whether body donation was the way to go or not, they melted away after my time with the students from the classes of 2014 and 2015.  I've never been more sure of anything in my life.


Curt said there would be a parking spot reserved for me.  I parked in the circle and went in the building, after taking pictures of it, and told them who I was.  They immediately recognized my name, whispered to each other that I was there for the service, and if I'd follow the gentleman, he'd direct me where to park.  I felt like a celebrity.  


I waited in the lobby until Curt met me.  It's a beautiful facility.  Students set up a reception table with cupcakes and punch, and scurried around taking care of last minute details.  Curt introduced me to the man over the department, who used to work at the Anatomical Board.  I was thanked profusely for our donation and especially for being at the memorial.  


As the attendees entered the auditorium, they were handed a black rubber bracelet that read, "In loving memory of our first patients."  The magnitude of the whole evening was dawning on me.  I wore my bracelet proudly.  The program cover said, "In honor of those who graciously donated their bodies to our medical education," and a soft, pale pink rose centered on it.  Inside the program was a list of cadaver numbers assigned by the state, along with the cause of death and the name of the student who would talk about their experience with their study group.  It was easy to tell which number was John's because of the listing of glioblastoma.  After each student spoke, they placed a white rose in a vase.  By the time all 22 roses were combined, it made a lovely arrangement.  The girl representing John, as well as all the students, talked about the bonding that went on as their group worked on the bodies.   Curt told me of his first study group and how he still keeps up with at least one of them.  "You never forget it."


In the director's talk, he referenced a family member of one of their cadavers being in the service, and again, his thanks were overflowing.  It was pretty obvious who the family member was, as most in attendance were student and teachers.


When the service ended, Curt took me on a tour of the building.  It was amazing, especially to me, a medical-phobic.  By the time we made it back to the reception, most of the group had cleared out.  He introduced me to a couple of the students and we chatted about the specialties they want to pursue.  When they found out I was the family member representing one of the bodies, the thanks poured again.  Each spoke of the importance of this first semester of anatomy and the need for that "first patient" to work on.  I was impressed and came away confident in the future of medicine.


There was a group of four girls hanging back, watching, hesitant to approach.  Curt called  them over and amidst the introductions, said my husband was one of the bodies they worked on.  


"He had the THING on the side of his head," I told them.  They all nodded.  I told them a quick version of John's illness and why the tumor grew out like it did.  I urged them with questions, and their answers told me what I wondered.  One of the girls never found her voice in our conversation.  She was overcome with emotion to meet someone who made such a precious donation to their education, and teared up along with me.


When John's body arrived and they saw the tumor on his head, they had all the students look at it.  This is exactly what I wanted to happen.  I asked if any of them were interested in neuro, and they told me a couple of the second-year students were.  They worked on the back of the bodies, then extremities and abdomen.  One of the girls in the group I was talking to did John's abdomen.  The study groups rotated around to different bodies as they learn different parts of the anatomy.  


"But what about his head?" I kept asking.  They looked at each other and whispered, and looked to Curt.  He must have given the okay because one said they kept the brains and would be learning about them this semester.  I was thrilled and thanked them for telling me.  I'm sure my enthusiasm shocked them, but this is why we wanted to donate John's body; research, research, research that may keep someone else from dying from GBM one day.


The girls and I took pictures in front of the vase of roses and I adopted them in my heart.  I did quick mental calculations.  If they received John's body in June and it was returned in August, surely it wouldn't be but a few months at most before his ashes were returned to me.  Or do they wait for the remains of his brain from this semester?  


Seeing the gratitude of the students and teachers and the need for body donation in their education, I tell anyone considering this avenue to do it.  It is a lasting, far reaching gift.  I know it's rare for a family member to attend a "first patient" memorial service.  I count it an honor, and will remember it as one of the most amazing events in my life.  


http://www.med.ufl.edu/anatbd/

August, 2011 hair today, gone tomorrow

Three and a half years ago, I cut my hair and donated it to Locks of Love in memory of my bestest friend, Vickie, who died of lung cancer.  When we realized how sick John was and he shaved his head for surgeries, I decided to grow and donate my hair again.  I waited until after my trip west because I knew we'd be hiking and I wanted to be able to put it up.  My sister was all too happy to chop-chop the length and ship it off to be made into a wig for someone going through chemo or in need of the hair I could give.

It was another emotional, meaningful connection to John.  Everyone in the shop knew why I was there and were encouraging and supportive of my new look.  My plan is to grow and donate it again in a couple of years.  There are stipulations for donating hair.  If you are interested, check with your hair care professional.
http://www.locksoflove.org/donate.html

Brain Tumor Awareness

http://www.braintumor.org/get-involved/advocacy-public-policy/BTAM.html

May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month
Follow the link for more information.

Thanks