Johnny Applesauce

I missed one of John's morphine doses because I slept through it.  Around 5 a.m., John got restless and was having leg spasms.  I gave him a dose, rubbed his head, arms, hand, and chest for about an hour, and so did Sharon.  Another dose and some calming.  Eventually he fell asleep and I crashed hard.  Sharon and Mama stayed up and had coffee, showers, got dressed.  Sharon left for work, but not before taking pictures of me and John in bed.

It was a good, quiet day.  The home health aide gave John his bath.  We discovered compression points on his elbow and wrist.  Only red at this point, but tender.  Between his middle and ring fingers on his right hand is a red spot, and when Ida washed between his fingers at that spot, John pulled away and grimaced.  This is the arm he doesn't use any more.  She was extra careful rinsing and drying his right arm.

I slept a lot while John napped.  It was good.  There were several calls, and Mama answered the phone. Daddy came for lunch and again later in the day.  Gail dropped off fried chicken livers for dinner. 
The nurse checked John and said his blood pressure was 160/100, lungs clear, urine has sediment and will be clear and then pink.  She brought a huge syringe

John's parents sent him a beautiful bouquet of flowers with three large mylar balloons for his birthday on Friday.  In the middle of the afternoon, John opened his eyes and tried to talk for about an hour.  He gestured, huffed, made faces.  It was fun to communicate with him.  I told him about my nephew, Marshall, and other things going on.  I put a "donut" shaped bean-filled cushion under his hurting elbow.  Mama was standing on the other side of the bed when I lifted John's arm to place the cushion.  He glared at her and she said, "I'm not the one doing it."  He would look across the room and close his right eye to see how well he could focus with the left, something he used to do to watch tv or things at a distance.

I think all the action wore him out because for the next three hours, it was impossible to wake him.  We tried everything: wet rag, putting his good arm in the air, shaking him gently, raising and lowering the bed.  We'd get one spoonful of applesauce with meds in him and he'd fall asleep. I called Hospice to let them know we're having a hard time getting him to swallow the applesauce.  The nurse answering the phone said it would be ok for tonight and that our primary nurse would call tomorrow with advice.  We've also doubled the morphine doses because at the end of the hour, you can tell when it wears off.  Getting up every hour tonight will be rough.  But you do what you have to.

Don't know if his alertness today was the "burst of energy" people get right before they die.  Consensus is that he is hanging on for his birthday Friday.