Christmas was great fun as always at my parents'. Sharon, Bobby, and Marshall beat us out there because John wanted to be clean and not gross to everyone. We washed his hair, bathed, shaved, packed. Got a thoughtful call from one of our high school classmates checking on us. Marshall called while we were loading the car to see where we were. When we got there, we let him go ahead and open his presents so we could eat in peace. The adults opened theirs after lunch. Only John and I spent the night.
In the night, John woke up with a headache. He went into the next room and sat in a chair for a while. Being the tough dude he is, he wouldn't take any pain meds. It got so bad, he finally broke down and took 1/4 of a pain pill. Half an hour later he took another quarter pill. Nothing was helping. After a while, 1/2 a tablet, accompanied by vomiting. Morning came, along with snow. The flakes were large and swirled in the wind. Mama and I went out for something and Fluffy had snowflakes on her fur. It snowed for over an hour. During that time, I had called hospice and the nurse was on her way. She ended up in Georgia because GPS sends you there on an incorrect route through the woods on a imaginary road to my parents' neighborhood. When she finally found us, with Mama meeting her at the main road, John had fallen asleep thankfully. While the nurse was there, we changed his bandage. The tumor had grown and the bulge was touching the back of his ear. This was new. There was tons of yellow drainage. I've noticed that when he has headaches, the next time we change his bandage, there's more yellow than usual.
The nurse thinks it's puss and not brain fluid. The stitch bled more than usual also, and made a mess. She taught me how to give him liquid morphine and what pills to give him for nausea. He took one and it helped for a while. He didn't want morphine and chose to keep taking the pain med Dr. Chemo had given us. I think John has a mental block against the 'comfort kit' of meds because those are for 'end of life' and he knows he's not there yet. He wants to be, but every nurse that sees him says he's 'not there.'
Daddy went to our house and plugged in the heater in the van so the tubes wouldn't freeze, and dripped faucets inside the house because it was cold and getting colder. John wanted deperately to go home. I figured out the reason was because we knew it was going to be in the 20's at night and the heater needed to be turned on. When I told him Daddy had already plugged it in, John said, "I guess we can stay another night then."
He slept better, got up at 3:30 to eat cereal and take more pain meds. Got up around 9 this a.m. Ate, laid back down, then got up and started getting dressed. He was READY to get home. We had a quiet day, back to 'normal.'
Our main Hospice nurse came. John hasn't lost weight, had his usual sense of humor, and when we changed the bandage, the tumor didn't look as large. Now 2 stitches are bleeding. She gave me a 'spill' kit in case the tumor ruptures, but not using those exact words. Don't know if having the kit gives me comfort or fear.
Tonight, our preacher and Sunday School teacher came by for over an hour. It was a great visit. Very real. John again told them all that matters is knowing Christ and what he did, and trusting him because we have nothing to offer God to redeem ourselves. He is still eloquent when it comes to God. very inspiring
Got a call from my dr's nurse and the osteo has spread in my body. They want me to go to my endocrinologist [thyroid dr] because my thyroid issue is probably feeding the osteo problem. I already have an appt to see her this summer. In the mean time....I HAVE to start exercising again. My hip always feels better when I'm moving regularly. AND, the biggie..........drink less coffee. Eat more dairy foods and dark greens. I know what to do. Just do it!!!!!
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