transitioning

Last night was some better.  John slept until 3:30 but was up the rest of the night with leg jerks.  Our Hospice nurse called this morning to say she was trying to get up with the doctor to get the muscle relaxer ordered.  I went to lunch with my two teacher friends, and Mama stayed with John.  He unloaded after almost three days of no bowel movements.  He urinated less today.  When he does go, the color is almost orange.

One of the ladies at lunch experienced the loss of her husband to cancer.  It was encouraging to see someone who survived the ordeal.

I ran errands.  Mama called to let me know John was in extreme pain with his legs.  She rubbed them, held his hand.  He cried.
I picked up the new med.  I fed him, literally, and he took the pill.  It helped with the pain, but he still jerks.  And his hands shake like crazy. 

My friend, Cheryl, came bearing key lime pie.  John was in bed but about anhour into her visit, decided to join us in the living room.  He didn't want help coming in but with me beside and Cheryl behind, about five minutes later, he was on the couch.
John was restless the whole time.  Couldn't get still or comfortable.  We put him in a rolling chair and took him back to bed.  I noticed his bandage was quite bloody.  I decided to call the Hospice on-call nurse.

The nurse was wonderful.  I told her about the hard time John has trying to walk, he gets hot often, his urine color, shaking hands and jerking legs.  She said he is transitioning.  The word hit hard, but with relief.  It was good to know.  When I asked her about how long, she said probably two weeks.  She watched me change the bandage.  The bleeding had stopped but he still jerked and shook.  We gave him one more muscle relaxer.  I asked her if I should tell John that he is transitioning.  She said if he asked, tell him what I thought he could handle.  I heard him get up and went in the room.  He used the bedside potty and wanted to know why "she" was here.  I said mostly for me but to check his head and legs.  He reminded me that he  wouldn't be here much longer.  I told him that was what the nurse said, too.  "That's good news," he added.

I'm relieved to know and have a timeframe, even if loose.  So thankful Cheryl was here.  Her dad died from a brain tumor and she could see "markers" in John.  He's in bed now but still jerking.  Doesn't seem to be in pain though. 

The nurse is going to talk to our regular nurse about getting John a hospital bed and home health care to bathe and change his clothes; etc.  I'll be glad for the help.
think he will be, too