Met my replacement today and she is delightful. She already has her paperwork and sub certificate complete. She came today and spent time with me, but I was testing and not teaching. Monday she'll shadow, Tuesday she'll teach with me in the background, and then Wednesday will be my first day off. I'll be gone until after spring break at least. We'll tell the kids and parents Tuesday.Wasn't expecting getting a replacement that quickly and smoothly, but like most steps along this path, God has orchestrated even the tiniest details. I don't know how people function who don't know Him.
We have a new governor. Time will tell.
John's parents will head home in the morning. He'll be home alone Monday and Tuesday. Should be fine. We'll all call him regularly. Can't wait to be home. It'll be like having 2 summers this year.
John's niece called him again tonight and it thrills him. Tickles him pink.
Tired. Going to bed.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
fast times
Time is flying. John's parents have been here this week. I'm sure they're stir-crazy. They'll leave Saturday. Came to a conclusion yesterday that I should take a leave from work until I'm ready to go back. My administration and family support me in my decision. John smiled when I told him but he's concerned that I'll use all my leave time. oh well.....that's why I've collected it all these years. We'll never get these days back.
John has felt well and done well. A little weaker on the right side every day. Pastor Bob came over today to check on us and talk a bit about the memorial service. It was good to see him and talk with him again.
I'm sure I'm leaving out a lot of details of this week, and once I'm home regularly I'll look back and fill in the important gaps.
John has felt well and done well. A little weaker on the right side every day. Pastor Bob came over today to check on us and talk a bit about the memorial service. It was good to see him and talk with him again.
I'm sure I'm leaving out a lot of details of this week, and once I'm home regularly I'll look back and fill in the important gaps.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
{amendment to Sunday's\previous post}
Our friends understood about not coming over today. John has rested on the couch and felt fine after lunch. His parents got here around 2:00. I fixed dinner [pork chops, Italian green beans, baked potatoes, tea biscuits]. We're seeing a correlation with bad weather and his head hurting also.
Ah! drain, rain, pain.
a funny: Marshall thought the electric blanket I got John for Christmas was an electrocution blanket,
and why would I get him one.
Ah! drain, rain, pain.
a funny: Marshall thought the electric blanket I got John for Christmas was an electrocution blanket,
and why would I get him one.
It's a new year
Not really into saying happy new year because I know it probably won't be. But I say it because I hope it will be.
It's been quiet and good around here. John's been feeling good and doing well. It's been warm and we've walked outside several times, sat in the sun. I cleaned up the last of the leaves and finished the weedeating from a month ago. Yesterday my family came over to celebrate Mama's b'day. I fixed black eyed peas, rice, ham, cornbread, tea, and cookies and ice cream. We had a great time.
John called his dad last night to tell him they didn't need to come; he's having good days and can be by himself. His dad said they had already packed the car and were coming. Plus, even tho John has good days, there's the one day he doesn't feel good and they want to be there for that. John gave in, so they're on their way this morning.
It started raining yesterday around 2, a nice steady rain. This morning it's overcast and drippy. Wanted to go to church but John is having some pain and his patch has a lot of yellow drainage again. There is a definite correlation to the drain and pain. His parents will probably be here around 2.
We had a 'first' the other night. Well, actually it happened a little at my parents at Christmas, but this was the worse so far. John missed the toilet totally while peeing and loaded the trash can, floor, and rug instead. I'm learning that when I hear, "Laura, I'm so sorry," he's messed up something. We've decided he will sit to pee from now on. He couldn't see the toilet and was guessing he was hitting it. I think he may be losing a little more vision field. No accidents since then. Except for the antique pitcher lid. My fault for leaving it in his medicine area on the kitchen counter--and on the right side. Someone used it to contain bacon grease, and it's tall and slender; pottery, really cool, not sure of a date but I'd say the '40's ?? . He hit it with his right hand, which he doesn't have a lot of control over. The pitcher part landed in a garbage can below it and the lid went flying and hit the tile floor. Oh well. Now I can put tall utensils in it.
Some friends are coming over this afternoon, but if John keeps feeling yucky, I will call them and reschedule. Don't want to go back to school tomorrow, but thank goodness it's a planning day. I like hanging out with John. Will have to make a decision about work; leave of absence, time off.....keep working.....
And, since it's the new year, his insurance deductible starts over, and now we're paying for Hospice. Will spend most of my day at work tomorrow making phone calls............. thank goodness it's a planning day.
It's been quiet and good around here. John's been feeling good and doing well. It's been warm and we've walked outside several times, sat in the sun. I cleaned up the last of the leaves and finished the weedeating from a month ago. Yesterday my family came over to celebrate Mama's b'day. I fixed black eyed peas, rice, ham, cornbread, tea, and cookies and ice cream. We had a great time.
John called his dad last night to tell him they didn't need to come; he's having good days and can be by himself. His dad said they had already packed the car and were coming. Plus, even tho John has good days, there's the one day he doesn't feel good and they want to be there for that. John gave in, so they're on their way this morning.
It started raining yesterday around 2, a nice steady rain. This morning it's overcast and drippy. Wanted to go to church but John is having some pain and his patch has a lot of yellow drainage again. There is a definite correlation to the drain and pain. His parents will probably be here around 2.
We had a 'first' the other night. Well, actually it happened a little at my parents at Christmas, but this was the worse so far. John missed the toilet totally while peeing and loaded the trash can, floor, and rug instead. I'm learning that when I hear, "Laura, I'm so sorry," he's messed up something. We've decided he will sit to pee from now on. He couldn't see the toilet and was guessing he was hitting it. I think he may be losing a little more vision field. No accidents since then. Except for the antique pitcher lid. My fault for leaving it in his medicine area on the kitchen counter--and on the right side. Someone used it to contain bacon grease, and it's tall and slender; pottery, really cool, not sure of a date but I'd say the '40's ?? . He hit it with his right hand, which he doesn't have a lot of control over. The pitcher part landed in a garbage can below it and the lid went flying and hit the tile floor. Oh well. Now I can put tall utensils in it.
Some friends are coming over this afternoon, but if John keeps feeling yucky, I will call them and reschedule. Don't want to go back to school tomorrow, but thank goodness it's a planning day. I like hanging out with John. Will have to make a decision about work; leave of absence, time off.....keep working.....
And, since it's the new year, his insurance deductible starts over, and now we're paying for Hospice. Will spend most of my day at work tomorrow making phone calls............. thank goodness it's a planning day.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
thriving thursday
tears, tears, and more tears
Selling the business finally hit John last night and he cried for a long time after we went to bed. Once he finished, we both slept well. He got up before me this morning [duh] and made coffee. I could hear him sniffling. He told me he had already had cereal, so I made myself a couple of fried eggs and sat at the table with him. It was obvious he had been crying for a while.
He admitted selling the business was getting him down, along with other regrets; not saving more money, not doing more to tell people about Jesus; etc. It took another hour or so of talking and crying before he could stop. But when the tears ended, John was himself. He worked through it remarkably well. I told him again how proud I am that he started a business and had it 20 years and worked it until he absolutely couldn't.
We went outside to look at his equipment and what we were keeping and what was to be sold. It probably helped to see everything, touch it, tell what pieces go with what. I was surprised at how much I actually knew about the equipment.
Fun, fun, fun! The Hospice music therapist came today. She plays guitar and sings. She played "Country Roads" by John Denver. John recognized it. She also did "One Day At A Time" which should be my theme song, except it's been so overdone I almost can't enjoy it. I'm jealous because she has the "AFI Top 100 Songs" and it was amazing! [I choked up when I saw "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge.] Anyway....we ended up with me at piano and she on guitar, mostly instruments only. Occasionally I'd sing. Piano/guitar is an excellent blend. John loved it. She sightread over my shoulder from my repertoire of choruses. At the end we did a horrible rendition of "Singing In the Rain." When we finished, she asked him if he recognized it and he said, "No." We busted out laughing because it's his favorite show tune from childhood. "That bad, huh?" I asked.
She'll come again in 2 weeks.
Then came the time to sell the business. The buyer had everything in order; 3 copies of all the documents. John had to sign his name a bunch of times, and he did pretty well. Grabbed one of the neighbors to witness the signatures. We had a long visit with the family who bought the business once the papers were signed. Their daughter, and the mom, loved all my nesting dolls, so I gave them one I brought from Kyiv.
Lots of people have asked me how I'm doing. I say OK because I'm so busy in the middle of it all. I'll fall apart later, I'm sure. Don't have time now.
Emailed Pastor Bob's secretary and he wants to come over next week. I asked if he'd do the memorial service and could we have it at Wildwood. The secretary sent info on what the bereavement committee helps with, facilities, and program printing. That's what I love about that church. It's organized but with heart.
Made an appointment for someone to look under the house and make sure we're not slipping away. funkiness goin' on
It's been a stress-relieving day.
Selling the business finally hit John last night and he cried for a long time after we went to bed. Once he finished, we both slept well. He got up before me this morning [duh] and made coffee. I could hear him sniffling. He told me he had already had cereal, so I made myself a couple of fried eggs and sat at the table with him. It was obvious he had been crying for a while.
He admitted selling the business was getting him down, along with other regrets; not saving more money, not doing more to tell people about Jesus; etc. It took another hour or so of talking and crying before he could stop. But when the tears ended, John was himself. He worked through it remarkably well. I told him again how proud I am that he started a business and had it 20 years and worked it until he absolutely couldn't.
We went outside to look at his equipment and what we were keeping and what was to be sold. It probably helped to see everything, touch it, tell what pieces go with what. I was surprised at how much I actually knew about the equipment.
Fun, fun, fun! The Hospice music therapist came today. She plays guitar and sings. She played "Country Roads" by John Denver. John recognized it. She also did "One Day At A Time" which should be my theme song, except it's been so overdone I almost can't enjoy it. I'm jealous because she has the "AFI Top 100 Songs" and it was amazing! [I choked up when I saw "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge.] Anyway....we ended up with me at piano and she on guitar, mostly instruments only. Occasionally I'd sing. Piano/guitar is an excellent blend. John loved it. She sightread over my shoulder from my repertoire of choruses. At the end we did a horrible rendition of "Singing In the Rain." When we finished, she asked him if he recognized it and he said, "No." We busted out laughing because it's his favorite show tune from childhood. "That bad, huh?" I asked.
She'll come again in 2 weeks.
Then came the time to sell the business. The buyer had everything in order; 3 copies of all the documents. John had to sign his name a bunch of times, and he did pretty well. Grabbed one of the neighbors to witness the signatures. We had a long visit with the family who bought the business once the papers were signed. Their daughter, and the mom, loved all my nesting dolls, so I gave them one I brought from Kyiv.
Lots of people have asked me how I'm doing. I say OK because I'm so busy in the middle of it all. I'll fall apart later, I'm sure. Don't have time now.
Emailed Pastor Bob's secretary and he wants to come over next week. I asked if he'd do the memorial service and could we have it at Wildwood. The secretary sent info on what the bereavement committee helps with, facilities, and program printing. That's what I love about that church. It's organized but with heart.
Made an appointment for someone to look under the house and make sure we're not slipping away. funkiness goin' on
It's been a stress-relieving day.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
wasting wednesday
We slept fairly well last night. John was awake a lot but stayed quiet in bed, not tossing and turning like usual. He got up ahead of me and made coffee, and when I got up, I knew something wasn't right. His language took a dive in the night. He seemed disoriented, kind of like he was after the seizures. He hardly talked at b'fast and couldn't focus well, was really slow with eating. After pancakes, John said he knew he was acting weird and didn't know why. As the day went on, he slowly got better and perked up some. I ran errands for almost 3 hours. It felt good to be out and about. Didn't feel guilty about leaving John home. He rested and even nuked lunch. I brought him Whataburger, which he ate later.
The electric blanket I got him for Christmas [actually Sharon picked it up for me] didn't have the controls in the box. I went to Walmart and they gave me the controls out of another box so we could keep the sage green one.
Spent more time being with John today. He wasn't very talkative until 8 tonight, and we talked mostly about God and what people believe and is he getting the message out about what Christ has done for us. He is very concerned that more people don't know.
I emailed Pastor Bob today to see if he'd do the memorial service at Wildwood. The lady buying the business is coming over with her husband tomorrow to check out the equipment and sign the agreement. John is now stressing about every aspect of this. Who will the check be made to? Is he asking too much or too little? Why can't she take the stuff tomorrow? Will he have enough to pay taxes, his bills, and live on? I can't imagine what it's like to be him right now. He's really dragging his right foot today, especially when he gets tired.
The Hospice music therapist is coming tomorrow. This will probably do me more good than John.
When I asked if we could have everybody over Saturday to celebrate Mama's b'day, he gave me a thumbs-up.
Trying to go to bed earlier in preparation for the sad day I have to go back to work.
The last of the pretty leaves are falling off. We're on a warming trend now, thank goodness. Enough of temps in the 20's!
The electric blanket I got him for Christmas [actually Sharon picked it up for me] didn't have the controls in the box. I went to Walmart and they gave me the controls out of another box so we could keep the sage green one.
Spent more time being with John today. He wasn't very talkative until 8 tonight, and we talked mostly about God and what people believe and is he getting the message out about what Christ has done for us. He is very concerned that more people don't know.
I emailed Pastor Bob today to see if he'd do the memorial service at Wildwood. The lady buying the business is coming over with her husband tomorrow to check out the equipment and sign the agreement. John is now stressing about every aspect of this. Who will the check be made to? Is he asking too much or too little? Why can't she take the stuff tomorrow? Will he have enough to pay taxes, his bills, and live on? I can't imagine what it's like to be him right now. He's really dragging his right foot today, especially when he gets tired.
The Hospice music therapist is coming tomorrow. This will probably do me more good than John.
When I asked if we could have everybody over Saturday to celebrate Mama's b'day, he gave me a thumbs-up.
Trying to go to bed earlier in preparation for the sad day I have to go back to work.
The last of the pretty leaves are falling off. We're on a warming trend now, thank goodness. Enough of temps in the 20's!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
doing or being?
John made me stop today and lay with him on the couch. It was nice. Sometimes I get so busy doing things I forget to be with him. I think since we're in the house together and I'm putzing around, I'm with him. But he doesn't think so. Since he can't read or write anymore, and tv is hard to follow, he's terribly bored. So much so, he's called several of his friends to talk on the phone as best he can. He enjoys it when his niece calls especially. And speaking of the kids...............
Tim, Jennifer, and the kids sent us a 'junk and love box' for Christmas. It arrived today and John absolutely wore himself out having fun with the contents. They sent us toilet paper, shampoo, lotion, razors, shave cream, napkins, books from Idaho, maps, coffee filters, hot chocolate, a blanket, moose poop; all kinds of things. For years, John has sent them a junk box for Christmas filled with items he finds during the summer cleaning rush, along with new things. They also included a sweet letter about them being sad this is his last Christmas, and they wanted to send a box to him. The kids also put in their Christmas stockings filled with stuff they chose; mugs from their town, post cards, hand drawn pictures/notes, and I got a picture ornament from a kids' meal.
John said it was perfect; the bestest Christmas they could ever give him. He called Tim and later Georgia called John. He is slap wore out. We took pictures of him/us with the loot, and also of him in front of the stockings hanging on our mantle.
He now has a headache. Back to reality unfortunately. But it was an excellent break from it.
John's parents are coming Sunday for a week. I'm so glad because I'll be able to work another week without taking days. I'm not afraid to leave him by himself yet. Mornings are a challenge though because he's slow waking up and getting going, but once he does, he's good. Bored but good. And he's taken rests when he feels tired, which he used to fight. He can't wash dishes anymore. His right hand is not trusty. I've enjoyed our carefree days this holiday. If we had someone to be here when he gets up in the mornings after I go to work, it would be perfect. I'm going to try to line up some of his friends to come during the day, the week after his parents leave, just to visit and chat and maybe bring lunch.
Taking it one week at a time, one day at a time. Trying for more being and less doing.
Tim, Jennifer, and the kids sent us a 'junk and love box' for Christmas. It arrived today and John absolutely wore himself out having fun with the contents. They sent us toilet paper, shampoo, lotion, razors, shave cream, napkins, books from Idaho, maps, coffee filters, hot chocolate, a blanket, moose poop; all kinds of things. For years, John has sent them a junk box for Christmas filled with items he finds during the summer cleaning rush, along with new things. They also included a sweet letter about them being sad this is his last Christmas, and they wanted to send a box to him. The kids also put in their Christmas stockings filled with stuff they chose; mugs from their town, post cards, hand drawn pictures/notes, and I got a picture ornament from a kids' meal.
John said it was perfect; the bestest Christmas they could ever give him. He called Tim and later Georgia called John. He is slap wore out. We took pictures of him/us with the loot, and also of him in front of the stockings hanging on our mantle.
He now has a headache. Back to reality unfortunately. But it was an excellent break from it.
John's parents are coming Sunday for a week. I'm so glad because I'll be able to work another week without taking days. I'm not afraid to leave him by himself yet. Mornings are a challenge though because he's slow waking up and getting going, but once he does, he's good. Bored but good. And he's taken rests when he feels tired, which he used to fight. He can't wash dishes anymore. His right hand is not trusty. I've enjoyed our carefree days this holiday. If we had someone to be here when he gets up in the mornings after I go to work, it would be perfect. I'm going to try to line up some of his friends to come during the day, the week after his parents leave, just to visit and chat and maybe bring lunch.
Taking it one week at a time, one day at a time. Trying for more being and less doing.
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